🚨 The $3 "Adulting Is a Scam" Dinner 🚨

Let’s be honest: Adulting is just Googling things you should already know and pretending kale tastes good. But last night,I created a dinner for $3.12 so you can, too.

Mar 29, 2025

∙ Paid

Let’s be honest: Everyone is complaining about expenses and always dropping “clean food is too expensive” in my dm’s. Adulting is just Googling things you should already know and pretending kale tastes good. But last night, armed with $3.12, sheer desperation, and questionable fridge ingredients, I created a dinner that made me briefly consider opening a food truck called "Poverty Gourmet."

🔥 The "I Deserve Better Than This" Egg Fried Rice

Ingredients:

Cooked rice (leftover or fresh, doesn’t matter — you're doing your best just make sure its white and not brown)
1-2 pasture-raised eggs (protein, baby!)
Garlic, minced (because you're classy)
Extra-Virgin Olive oil, grassfed butter, or whatever grease is available but clean
Any sad veggie in your fridge drawer: wilted spinach, bell pepper strips, abandoned broccoli florets
Hot sauce (mandatory) use code: wakeup20

Instructions:

Heat oil in a pan, add garlic, and savor the illusion of competence.
Crack eggs into the pan and scramble aggressively, releasing pent-up adult frustrations.
Throw in your rice and veggies, sautéing until everything looks like you intentionally planned it.
Douse generously in hot sauce to hide all imperfections.

Eat proudly from the pan—plates are a scam anyway.

🌟 Why You'll Love This:

It's absurdly cheap.
Ready in under 10 minutes.
Somehow tastes amazing.
You're a grown-up now, but dishes are still overrated.

😏 Ready to Stop Feeling Like Hot Garbage?

Let's be real—this meal might fix dinner, but not your life. If you're ready to actually feel like a functioning adult human tomorrow, grab my free guide:

👉 "Feel Better in 24 Hours" (Clean Meals to Crush Inflammation ASAP)

It's legit good, requires no culinary skill, and might convince people you actually have your life together.

Subscribe now if you appreciate cheap dinners, blunt wellness tips, and brutal honesty about adulthood.

🧠 A Quick Lesson: Why Cheap Doesn’t Mean Junk

Let’s debunk a little myth real quick: cheap food doesn’t have to wreck your body.

Inflammation, sluggish energy, and digestive chaos usually come from ultra-processed, packaged stuff with 25-syllable ingredients — not because you used day-old rice or bought eggs on sale. Whole foods (yes, even when they’re slightly wrinkled and sad) still give your body what it needs: fiber, protein, antioxidants, and nutrients that your cells actually know what to do with.

So yes, you can be broke and still treat your body like it deserves love — not just shame-eating snacks out of a crinkly bag.

👀 Why You Should Subscribe (No, Really)

You’re here because you like your meals cheap, your humor slightly unhinged, and your wellness advice served without judgment. Subscribing means:

You get weekly-ish recipes that don’t require a culinary degree or $27 in obscure ingredients.
You’ll learn how to eat well on a budget without eating like a raccoon.
You'll feel a little more in control of your health without spiraling into diet culture.

Also, it’s so cheap. Like, less than a restaurant lunch bill. Which is very on brand for us.

So go ahead. Smash that subscribe button. Join the Cheap Thrills crew. Your future self (and your waist line) will thank you.

🍽️ Bonus $3 Dinner:
The "Tragic Gourmet" Baked Potato